Saturday
Aug152009
August 15, 2009 What Not to Wear
As much as I'd like to say I pay careful and devoted attention to each student 100% of the time, the truth is that my mind wanders. Often I play a little game I call, "Would I Let My Child Out of the House in That?"
Usually the answer is "yes." I work with very tasteful families. And when it's "no," I would bet money that the parent had no part in choosing the outfit. This is, as I understand it, one of the sacrifices of parenthood. However, I still enjoy making up rules for my oppressed imaginary children:
1. No logos or characters, except cool obscure ones. I don't like paying to advertise for someone else.
2. No over-dressing or under-dressing to an exaggerated degree. An evening gown and glittery slippers to school -- or a tank top and shorts to a recital -- is inappropriate. I've noticed this among adults as well, actually. Some parents routinely come to lessons in pajamas and slippers. No curlers or facial masks yet, but I'm waiting.
3. No high-maintenance clothing. Long, floppy sleeves that immobilize a child's fingers. Or sashes and buckles that come undone and trip the child on the way to the piano. Who designs this stuff? Obviously, people who have the energy and motivation to follow their kids around in case of a, you know, malfunction.
4. No pink. Ever. Irrespective of gender. Because I'm the mother in this hypothetical situation, that's why!
Usually the answer is "yes." I work with very tasteful families. And when it's "no," I would bet money that the parent had no part in choosing the outfit. This is, as I understand it, one of the sacrifices of parenthood. However, I still enjoy making up rules for my oppressed imaginary children:
1. No logos or characters, except cool obscure ones. I don't like paying to advertise for someone else.
2. No over-dressing or under-dressing to an exaggerated degree. An evening gown and glittery slippers to school -- or a tank top and shorts to a recital -- is inappropriate. I've noticed this among adults as well, actually. Some parents routinely come to lessons in pajamas and slippers. No curlers or facial masks yet, but I'm waiting.
3. No high-maintenance clothing. Long, floppy sleeves that immobilize a child's fingers. Or sashes and buckles that come undone and trip the child on the way to the piano. Who designs this stuff? Obviously, people who have the energy and motivation to follow their kids around in case of a, you know, malfunction.
4. No pink. Ever. Irrespective of gender. Because I'm the mother in this hypothetical situation, that's why!
Reader Comments (5)
I chuckle at #3. Did you make this rule because you remember when you, too, wore floppy sleeves and sashes? Or something comparable. I believe I could dig out some pictures.
Yeah, but I can hardly be blamed for those atrocities . . . all my fashion-forward friends pressured me into wearing that stuff. And hey, didn't we sign some sort of mutual gag order with regard to embarrassing photos?
Hey, no beer ads allowed in school, right?
Then, of course, there are the announcements, made by students to teachers, about what they are *not* wearing...
No, just on my imaginary children!